My heart and mind stops floating and comes back to earth after a while gone. Ive got them back on me... I guess Kurt Cobain´s journals reminded me how a great pain reliever it is to jot down your thoughts. I just dont want them to be forgotten later on. I want my writings and my beliefs to survive throughout time, without being criticized or discriminated for their own craziness.
Im afraid i may say...loneliness isnt unknown to me anymore , and ive learned to live with it and love it too. Things are getting to the end.Im standing in the ledge of blindness. I will be blinded soon enough. I´ll have to let go of everyone here and pass on to a better life by myself. Are they just some weird thoughts? or are they just a view of my destination?
Im frustrated i may say... i gave my everything to someone, just to find out the spark lasted just as long as a cigarrette does during a rock concert. I feel misunderstood by all assholes who have meant something to me once in time.
But then again , my breathing slows down thinking about this one´s smile , kisses and self-destructive image. Does he really care for his smell or outfit? I would prefer to sleep over where worms eat your rotten body.
Cant i be gone for good? I miss death, i miss every minute when my mind could travel to wherever it was intended to be ,and float around without minding about lovable feelings of mine or other´s desires.
Selfishness is better , that way love cant be felt nor created ...stoping the propagation of such a ¨killing disease¨.
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